When we first got married I was terrified that I would get pregnant right away. I didn’t feel ready and more importantly I didn’t know how I would handle my mom taking care of me for a month (in Taiwanese culture women have a month of postpartum confinement where they rest and eat a bunch of food and Chinese medicine to reboot their body after giving birth). I was petrified of taking on the responsibility of raising a child. I felt that I would either fail miserably or damage the child for life, or both.
That was three years ago. During the past three years I felt the Lord calm my nerves and prepare my heart (as He so faithfully does every time) to receive this gift He wants to give us. I believe the most important thing was knowing that He will be there with me to help me. I wouldn’t be alone trying to handle all of it by myself.
I remember asking my friend Becky Falkner the secret to having a God-centered loving family like herself (she has five kids and sixteen grandkids). She told me, that she’d asked the Lord for help a lot and would try to apologize to her children when she made a mistake. That really simplified things for me. Similar to a lot of things in life, we simply need to ask the Lord for help (look to Him) and to say sorry.
So this past fall, we felt ready to start trying. But when we did I faced another worry in my heart. Would I get pregnant? What if I don’t? I felt as if I was surrounded by many women who had trouble getting pregnant. After reading up on the realities of conception, I realized that sometimes it takes up to six months to conceive. Wow! Six-months! What if it takes me six months or more or it doesn’t happen at all? AHHHHH!
Then, knowing the worries that were brewing in my heart, the prophetic words started coming. While having dinner one night with my friend Candy, she told me that on her way to meeting me, she asked the Lord what’s on His heart for me and He gave her the word, “baby”. A little embarrassed to share this word with me, not knowing where we’re at regarding the topic, she finally worked up the courage to share this with me. I was encouraged by the word because we were going to start trying soon. I felt as if the Lord was smiling down and reminding me that He knows what I’m thinking about and cares about my worries. I felt Him hug me with reassurance that this is a gift He delights in giving us.
Later on, my friend Emily messaged me with a dream she had of us. In her dream we had a little boy and a little girl. Our friend Alice also had a dream that I was pregnant. I felt the Lord reminding me of His faithfulness and also His promise to me, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11). A month or so later, we found out that I was indeed pregnant after trying for only two months.
When trying to decide when to announce the good news to everyone, I was worried yet again about whether or not to tell people before I’m in my second trimester. Since there’s still a greater chance for miscarriage in the first trimester, most couples choose to share publicly in the second trimester. But something in me wanted to tell the world sooner! For me personally I felt like it was taking a step of faith. When I spoke to the Lord about it, I felt Him reassure me and remind me of His promises to us to bless our family and to give us children. So, I posted it on Facebook when I was only two months pregnant. I couldn’t contain the good news to myself any longer!
I hope to post updates throughout my pregnancy and hope that it would encourage you. If so, please leave a comment and share your pregnancy stories, worries and what nots with me. 🙂