Today is exactly a week before my due date and surprisingly (and contrary to how I’ve been feeling the two previous trimesters) I feel sooooooo at peace and excited for our little girl’s arrival! Whoohooo! Finally!!!
Throughout this pregnancy I’ve been surprised by the emotional rollercoaster it’s been, how well I’ve been feeling physically and God’s continual goodness! Below’s all of that in more detail….
Riding the Emotional Rollercoaster
You know when you really want yourself to feel a certain way when something major happens but then you don’t so you feel completely frustrated? So yeah, that was me for the majority of this pregnancy.
Few weeks ago I was listening to Tim Keller’s sermon on the peace of God and he mentioned that sometimes as Christians we lack peace because we get frustrated that we’re frustrated or due to our expectations of ourselves and life. My own expectations, I believe, was the caused of a lot of my frustrations.
I wanted SO much to be ecstatic about our little one. I wanted to welcome her into this world with loving embrace, with prayers, speaking to her daily and calling her forth into her destiny and identity in Christ even in the womb. But I was struggling…..with my emotions about motherhood, my own weaknesses and many other worries that deterred me from what I’d hoped to be and do during this pregnancy.
This last month of pregnancy though the Lord somehow lassoed all my fears and anxieties then gave me peace and joy in exchange. “Receive!” was what He spoke to me in the beginning, and when I did sit down and rest, open my heart to receive freely from Him, the help, the peace, the companionship and provision He extended, His love began to wash over me. Especially now as the day draws near of our daughter’s arrival, I’m surprised at how peace-filled and excited I finally am. Thankful that the Lord makes all things beautiful in His time.
He who holds the seven stars in His hands, holds my heart.
I assumed wrongly that I would be wobbling about and heavily incapacitated by my growing belly during pregnancy but for the majority of the time, I was not! I was so happily surprised (Dustin is too) at how mobile and energetic I’ve been feeling (other than fatigue and nausea the first trimester and some slight loss of energy this last month).
Also, another wonderful surprise was that my belly wasn’t really big, my feet hasn’t swollen nor do I have stretch marks on my belly! Hallelujah. I’m so so thankful! Of course I don’t want to make it be all about that or make anyone feel I’m better than others simply because I didn’t get stretch marks because I know we all have different bodies. But honestly, belly stretch marks were something I was weary of and am SO SO thankful that I didn’t get which I think any woman would be thankful for. I believe it’s the Lord answering my little prayer. He’s so kind.
Peace & Joy joy joy!
While the previous two trimesters have been difficult spiritually, this trimester I feel so much more grace to rest before the Lord and enjoy His presence, receive His love freely. I treasure the mornings now where I can take some time to read the Word and pray. It was more difficult during the summer to do my quiet times in the mornings since I have to teach most mornings. The last two weeks I’ve been able to enjoy a slow morning with the Lord and it’s been such a blessing. My heart feels refreshed and ready to receive our little one. There’s nothing that can quiet my heart like the presence of God and hearing His voice.
Thank you for coming along for this journey. I hope my updates have given you an idea of what pregnancy could be like and encouraged you with the grace God gives us to welcome all that comes during that special season. The next time you hear from my will most likely be when the little one’s out!