May my words encourage your hearts today and give you fresh vision. I have three things to share with you.
First, you are not alone and I know you. I know about your long days and short nights. I know how weary you feel and how your mind seems foggy. I know your highs and your lows. I am a seasoned mother, with five grown children, all married and now a grandmother of 19 treasures. I know you. I really do. Deep frustrations, overwhelming feelings, fear, worry, even anxiety. You question everything. It’s more than you ever imagined it would be. Yes, I know how you feel, what you are doing and what you are thinking. You see, we all belong to this exclusive mother’s club.
You don’t have to do this alone nor are you supposed to!
Even though I may have years of experience, we are all in this together! I am here for you! We support each other, build each other up, help and share tools. You are not an island. You don’t have to do this alone nor are you supposed to! You are not alone! Get that lie out of your house like the filthy garbage. Do this instead, look for that seasoned mother or grandmother in your community. They know you’re not perfect so you don’t have to pretend. They know you like I do. Talk, ask questions, share. Take the advice that helps you and throw out what doesn’t help. This is one way to honor the older women and everyone benefits from it. You need to hear from us that you’re a good mom, you’re doing a good job and that this is just a moment in time, so treasure it fully!!
They know you’re not perfect so you don’t have to pretend
The second thing I want to tell you is that you have to be very kind to yourself! Read More
I used to be more comfortable with my weaknesses, but moving to a different country, being apart from my friends these past few years have made me want to hide them. Yet, motherhood has a special way of making me face the weaknesses I was trying so hard to hide and control. Fatigue and inexperience resulted in a major loss of my inhibitions (oh fun).
What kind of mom does He want me to be?
Recently God began to remind me over and over again, that true strength comes from weakness. In this performance oriented pragmatic world, being weak and desperately needy of God is a major faux pas. Even in the church today, this belief has crept in and taken a foothold in many hearts including my own. I want to look good! I want to be that mom that does it all and looks good doing it! But that kind of unrealistic expectation of myself has only worn me down and made me unhappy.
What has God called me to? What kind of mom does He want me to be? What is the truth that will endure the test of time that is more important than our fears of what others may think of us?
“Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” -2 Corinthians 12:8-10
Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. -1 Corinthians 1:27
I can’t believe it’s already been six months! The past six months have been both long and short. Our little Sadie Talulah is growing too fast! I’ve already packed away a box of her clothes (tear). All this has only reminded me to slow down and treasure each moment.
I still remember vividly the thrill, shock and adrenaline rush I felt when Sadie was born. I remember watching her sleep that night, checking on her, hearing her little noises as I slept next to her. I had a hard time sleeping that night even though I had labored for 12+ hours. I remember waking up and feeding her early that morning. It was just me and her in the quiet of the night. Little did I know that it was the first of many days of growing in love and breaking into my new role as “mommy”.
I also remember the fear and anxiety I felt that first few weeks as I faced the onslaught of challenges. From the shock and pain of engorgement when my milk came in to the reality of the fact that I didn’t know what I was doing. I’d put so much time into reading up on pregnancy and labor but wasn’t as well prepared for caring for Sadie (later I found out that this is common for first time moms. Read beyond the delivery mamas). I felt so in love as she slept on my chest, but also cried helpless tears when she wouldn’t stop crying or go to sleep. Reading books on learning to decipher her cries but puzzled with panic because I couldn’t differentiate between her cries. Struggling to fall asleep for quite a long time after she fell asleep because I was worried she was going to wake up any moment. But my biggest worry was am I enough? Can I give her what she needs…and if I can’t what’s going to happen? And do others think I’m a good mom? Or am I failing in everyone’s eyes including my own?
My tears once pregnant with overwhelmed anxiety turned into tears of overwhelming joy, thankfulness and love.
But I also remember when those anxious nights started to fade. I remember looking at her beautiful little face that blossomed right before my eyes. Her newborn red-toned skin fading into a lighter creamy shade she inherited from her daddy. Her puffiness from growing inside my belly for nine months going down to reveal her beautiful eyes and features. I remember holding her little clenched hands between my fingers, stroking her little curled up feet. My tears once pregnant with overwhelmed anxiety turned into tears of overwhelming joy, thankfulness and love. Read More
Hi all! Just wanted to let everyone know that my website address has changed to spotofsunshine.com, wingstofly.me won’t work in a week so make sure you bookmark the new website. Thank you for your readership! I’m working hard on updating this website with a new look and exciting new materials! Stay tuned!🙂
It all started at midnight on September 15th, three days after my due date. I was awakened by light contractions. Taking the advice of Ina May Gaskin, I drank a small glass of wine and went back to bed trying to relax. I stayed awake until around 3 A.M. wondering whether or not this indicated the beginning of Sadie’s arrival. Since the contractions weren’t consistent, I went back to bed.
The next day I kept having contractions that indicated early labor. The contractions weren’t consistent and I was still able to get around and do most things. But that day Dustin stayed home and canceled his classes he was scheduled to teach in order to be ready in case I went into labor. I stayed home most of the day, checking if I had everything ready for the hospital and sat on the couch most of the day. Later on that night we dropped off our dog at the pet hotel and then went out to get Subway and a lemonade for me. We even went to get some groceries for the next day in case we had another day of early labor ahead of us. I still remember Dustin chuckling at the fact that we were out walking around, doing normal everyday things while I was having contractions. But realistically speaking, the contractions during early labor, though uncomfortable weren’t unbearable to the point where I couldn’t function. They just felt like bad cramps.
Active Labor That night, around 3 in the morning, the contractions intensified. Knowing that there’s most likely a marathon ahead, I tried to stay in bed and rest in-between contractions which I was able to until later that morning when the contractions intensified. In the beginning I was able to do some visualization to help me relax. What helped the most was visualizing I was in a boat with Jesus and He was with me. I started timing the contractions and slowly as the hours passed, the minutes in between each contraction decreased and the length of the contractions increased. Read More